Being Love, Owning Power

Posted on November 2, 2016 by mcallister

Blue and Gold

A beautiful fall day. Brilliant blue skies make all the colors pop, especially the dancing golden yellow leaves of the cottonwoods. The warmth and beauty around me resonate in my heart. Its easy to feel it filling with light, with love, opening to its natural state of being, to my essence.

As I open my Being and deepen into the joy of today, I remember that while the day makes it easier, even natural, what I am feeling is what I AM. My spiritual Self is Light and Love. It exists in this state of joy. I brought this in as an infant. Somewhere along the years I got distracted and started to look for it outside. From mother, father, family and friends. Later I looked to lovers and finally to nature and Spirit. Love and Light come from Spirit, through all these mediators. But Love/Spirit exists also inside me, always has.

I notice that part of me is uncertain about being in a state of Love, am I worthy to feel this? will I have to pay for it later? Variations on a theme, but all missing the point; Love is who and what I AM, not something I lack and have to search for. The day is wonderful, but it is only reminding me of what I already have, if I remember. Appreciating the outward beauty I refocus on the inner Source that sustains me and all of us, loving unconditionally.

It seems natural to want to share this day, this joy and love, with my beloved. I pause to examine this urge; realizing that my doubting ego feels I have to give it away, that I shouldn’t keep something so wonderful for myself. Being Love, and owning that Being, the question of giving it away becomes moot. If I am this, it will radiate to those I am around and I will share it with everyone I meet, especially my beloved.

This state of being is also a state of power. Being my Self, I am in my power – not power over, but the untouchable power of Being. The feeling that I have to give love away is another form of giving my power away. If I believe that I have to have an object for my love, that love is only available to me when it’s flowing through me, when I am “in love with someone”, I am also avoiding my power. Owning the inner source of Love, of Being, I can share this in a dance of creation with my beloved.

Love is my being, my power, my essence. I can invoke it any time any place, simply by turning my attention inward and remembering what is already there. At first this takes practice and the sunshine helps. There can be interference, the doubting voices of the ego-mind, weaving a web of armor out of fear. Love is still always true, always there. Over time there comes a knowing and Love is alive inside even on the dreariest day.

Owning my own inner Love, it will be shared, will pass on. Standing in my inner power I shine Light into the world. This inner Love melts the doubts and fears that tell me I need the beautiful day, a lover, permission to let Love unfold within me. I return to it over and over, find my footing and then come back to the world. Source is inside me, inside you.

(© 11/2016)

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Courage and Butterflies

Posted on October 2, 2016 by mcallister

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

Blue butterfly

Sitting at breakfast on the porch it’s a beautiful fall day. The clear blue sky is decorated with strands of white clouds drifting east from the mountains. The sun is warming up the early morning chill, but riding lower in the southern sky after Equinox, it has lost the fire and heat of summer. Bees hover around the sage and other remaining flowers in the garden. I am relaxing with my blessed beloved, sharing great food that we made together.

While I am enjoying this beauty and love, my mind is turning over writing this newsletter and some class blurbs that I also want to do today. It is raising currents of resistance. Noticing these, I realize that a large lump of fragile agitation and fear, the sort that comes from infancy or early childhood, is taking form in the middle of my body. This must be another aspect of my old core belief that holds I am somehow “not enough”. It has variants and shades, but the theme is the same. Somehow things won’t work out because of some lack in myself.

Things arise in our space when they are ready to release and clear. Often they have layers of fear embedded in them, along with other emotions that we are resistant to revisiting. It may be that these issues are new and unfamiliar, or that they have showed up so often that we have given up trying to deal with them. It takes courage to stay present when the old things arise. It takes presence and a touch of grace to remember that these are not who we are, no matter how long they have been around.

The belief that something is lacking feeds a spectrum of solutions, variations on the idea that if I am, or have, more of something then things will be ok. That something could be ideas and knowledge, in my head or in books that I own. It might be experiences, or friends, employees or money. It might be music, movies, or food. It can be physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. But more of something is needed. Before I take a next step, write a new piece, or plan a class, I have to know more, be more, then perhaps it will go well. And perhaps the fear will leave.

There is nothing wrong with learning, reading, traveling, experiencing, or any of the rest. However, as long as the “not enough” refrain is playing there will never be enough. This refrain is emotional, not mental, and it’s always relative to today, as long as the embedded fear and sense of powerlessness is present, the refrain will play. In truth we are always enough. Sometimes preparation is helpful, and we do have to learn, organize, or build. But this is not what usually stops us. We can do things in spite of the fear and doubt, but it is easier and more graceful without that weight and resistance.

In my chest, it feels like I’m birthing a large goopy slug like thing out of my third chakra. It’s nasty to look at and feels about as pleasant as it looks. I reach inside myself for the love and compassion, the gentle strength and protective masculinity that I hold for clients, for friends, that I’ve been holding for my beloved earlier this morning. I am all that too. I call in a blessing for the things that are surfacing. I know that it is better to birth it and let it go, that as nasty and emotionally painful as it seems at the moment I will be better off not holding onto it.

I sit in the sunshine just being present with the blob. My beloved sits with me, offering her love and presence. We go on with our conversation. Soon I notice the blob is gradually unfolding. As it opens, it is cleaning itself off, the way a new born foal is cleaned by its mother. The fear and anguish I feel is fading as this birthing emotional bundle comes to resemble a butterfly coming emerging from its cocoon. Shortly the butterfly rises and flies away. In my being I feel light and joyful.

Feeling like the day around me again, I know that I can write the newsletter, create the class, love my beloved, more clearly and freely than before. This was a significant chunk of an old program, which I have wrestled with for most of my life. Recently I have been inviting it to show up and resolve itself. Inviting it to come out of the shadows of my unconscious and into understanding, to be present with me so I can be present with it. I could mentally force myself to release the old compensating, acquisitional, habits, but until I was ready to reach down underneath, to ask what they have been serving, they are like the Hydra. I would conquer them one by one, only to have them return in some other forms.

I have been through too many “not enough” forms this lifetime. In the end this one resolved fairly gracefully, but the pain has been there a long time and the dance has gone round and round. Some habits or old patterns can release gracefully, effortlessly. Others require courage to be present with an old aspect of self that lurks underneath in fear or sadness or shame. There are no short cuts, but there is support, guidance and grace. At dawn, after the storm, there is joy and freedom. Only when you can welcome the slugs will you receive the butterflies, rebirthing old aspects of self into new forms. Releasing the emotional core of old beliefs you can materialize the life you dream of.

(© 10/2016)

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Riding Storms

Posted on September 6, 2016 by mcallister

Geomagnetic Storm

Today is a new moon, which passing in front of the sun causes an annular solar eclipse. Events like this tend to stir the energetic and emotional waters. A on-going, minor, geomagnetic storm, caused by high speed solar winds is disturbing the magnetosphere, agitates the human magnetic field; the pot is stirred some more.

Our emotional bodies and subconscious minds have their own life, dynamics and processes. They may weave in and out of our conscious experience and awareness. Mostly they are mild enough to go unnoticed. We are feeling a bit off today, no big deal.

Other times the celestial or geomagnetic weather is rough, or the currents of our inner and outer lives are more turbulent than usual, emotions or mental patterns that usually are kept below the surface and out of sight come bubbling to the surface.

When the volume goes up on emotions or mental tapes, the initial reaction is usually to manage them, push them aside, do something that helps us to feel better. It might be cleaning the house, diving into a work project, watching a movie or reaching for ice cream and cookies. One of my favorites is chocolate.

For spiritual growth, when the ego or emotional body reactions are particularly strong, this can actually be a gift. It may be the emotions or thoughts that come into awareness, or it may be a sudden urge to engage in self soothing or avoidance behaviors. If the reactions are pronounced enough to grab conscious attention there is an opportunity to react consciously for a change.

With intention and practice it is possible to notice things as they surface and pause long enough to remember that they are indicators of something under the surface. These are not direct responses to something going on in the moment, though things in the moment may have triggered them. What is useful is to learn to recognize, directly or indirectly, what the indications of being triggered are, or when we are entering into an old pattern that may not be helpful in the present.

This recognition and awareness allows the option of exploring reactions and engaging with them rather than avoiding them or dropping into unconscious programs. Notice what your initial impulses are, this helps to understand the techniques that the subconscious uses to take care of itself. This is valuable information and self knowledge. Take the chance to have a conversation. Then choose consciously whether they are useful right now.

Letting urges to react flow through, recognize also the emotional content. Breathing through it releases old energy that makes these reactions automatic. As these levels clear, feel into what is underneath, what is your being trying to heal, cover up, or avoid? This is the gold. These are the emotions, beliefs, patterns that have been shaping your life under the surface. The best way to really feel better is to be present with and engage what’s coming up, release the emotions, and breath through to spacousness on the other side.

That all this is going on is part of the human condition. It is not a bad or shameful thing. It is however a condition that can be consciously explored, shifted, and transformed. At first it takes courage, but with practice it becomes easier. The result is a life that is lived more in present time, with more freedom and in greater alignment with Self and Soul.

So when the weather is stormy or something surfaces on its own, remember that this is an opportunity not a tribulation. Engaging with things is the best way to truly complete them and leave them permenantly behind. All it takes is some self-trust, intention, and practice.

(© 9/2016)

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Attention and Energy

Posted on August 1, 2016 by mcallister

Sunbathing Seals

When there is pain in your body it is hard not to focus on it. However your attention is known to enhance the pain. We naturally resist pain, but our resistance actually increases its experienced intensity. Most of our perception of pain actually arises from fear and resistance. Our focus and tension also increases the clenching of surrounding muscles adding to our discomfort. While it is not easy, allowing the pain to be present and mentally creating space for ease around it, can help reduce it. Quietly feeling the “pain” allows the mental components to dissipate. This allows the surrounding muscles to relax, and even the physical pain is lessened.

When we put our attention onto anything, two things happen. Our attention has the primary creative power to give form to the formless, to create space for something to come into being, or to create more space for it to be what it already is. In the case of pain we can create more pain, or we can practice creating acceptance and space for the pain to minimize.

Secondly, where our attention goes, there goes our energy. This is true for objects, people, aspects of yourself, old memories, ideas and concepts. It is a fundamental and universal principle of consciousness. In small and large ways we get to choose all the time. It is the foundation of the spiritual teachings to choose love over fear. It is a practical choice that aligns your energy with what your soul desires.

Energy is energy, but it can take many forms. It doesn’t matter what form we apply it in, what matters is where we apply it. This is why resistance generally feeds what we resist. Once your attention is on something, your energy will go there. This is why people would rather have you angry with them than ignore them. Ignoring something, disengaging, takes your energy away, brings it back to you. You can then do something resonant with it.

If the attention you are projecting matches that of an idea or person, it simply increases the existing state. Anger feeds anger, love feeds love. If it is in contrast, then the object of your attention can match it and choose to change, or resist it and it will drain them. This later dynamic is subtle and to succeed depends on the clarity of your intention.

When dealing with something that does not resonate with you, move your attention to what does. Feed what you want rather than resisting what you fear or dislike. Hold that positive vibration or image; if you can, even in relation to what is disagreeing with you. Carefully release any resistance, or that underlying character will compromise your intention. When in doubt it is better then to simply focus elsewhere.

All spiritual traditions have practices that help you to focus your attention on your essential Self and on Spirit. They include practices for undoing all the inherited psychological pictures that engage us automatically with various external focuses. Freedom comes as you learn how to consciously guide your attention and keep it focused on who you truly are and what you want to create in your life. When we can control our attention, our energy will stop feeding many things that do not nourish or support our essence. Owning your attention you will own your energy and power.

(© 8/2016)

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Nourishing Elements

Posted on July 2, 2016 by mcallister

Ocean and Sky

Clear blue sky echoed the rich blue of the ocean below us. Waves rolling in from the open sea foamed white against the grey granite rocks. Occasional seagulls glided by, or rode the swells out beyond the surf. The rhythm of the waves and the salt air blown gently against us by a cool breeze were soothing as we sat under a bright afternoon sun. Warmed by fire, cooled by air, resting on earth and lulled by the water; our bodies and Beings were content to relax and allow the elements to nourish us.

A few days before we were in the rolling hills of the Pocano Mountains. Forest trees and cool streams fed us there as we smelled the rich aroma of fallen leaves, living moss and ferns. Sun light filtered through the green of hundred-foot canopy sheltering the myriad birds whose voices made up a rich chorus of joyful song.

We are made of the elements forged in the fires of ancient stars, but we are sustained in life by the flows of energies that have been called elemental. Different aspects of Life Force that resonate with our star elements, with the breath in our lungs, the salt water of our cells, the earth of our bones and the fire of our life, our thoughts, our nerves.

Sometimes the elements nourish us in a physical way, but they also come to us as energy, as rhythm and flow. Hard as the rock, or soft as a breeze. Just as we sometimes need more of one thing or another in our food and drink, sometimes we can benefit especially from one or more of the elements. Salt sea air softens the hair and skin, but it also speaks to the sea inside us, soothing the nerves and rocking us gently into a peaceful state of being, reminiscent of the womb or the primordial sea.

While humans are comprised of all four elements, the balance is not the same for each of us. Sometimes we need to support a dominant element, or balance out a secondary one. Circumstances and situations can deplete us, or over stimulate us, calling for more of one or another. It is good to know what your natural strengths are and which tend to be lacking.

Being in different places in nature can help to balance or support you as required. The energy of water, stream or ocean; the fire of the sun, or a campfire at night; the earth of trees or stones, and the clear sky and wind, all have the potential to assist you. Meditating on what places have drawn you, or helped you to feel calm or strong is a good place to start. Experimenting with different places, checking in when you are in a new environment, you begin to know how different elements and combinations affect you.

Allowing them to soak into you when you are there, the imprints are in your body when you are at home. Some are nourishing, others are cleansing, like the red rocks of Utah, under a hot sun and blown clean by a strong wind. Different places for different circumstances. Practicing elemental awareness tells you about your own state, but also enhances your ability to call the elements you need, even when you can’t be present with them in person.

Energetically they are always present everywhere, ready to dance with you when you call.

(© 7/2016)

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