On Losing and Finding Our Center

Posted on December 10, 2007 by mcallister

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

At the end of a wonderful evening of space keeping for a ceremony of transformation and celebration, my appointed tasks were finished. I was wandering around, not feeling particularly purposeful or having people to be with (though there were friends there). I felt myself a bit adrift and on the side. Looking for a place to be I didn’t really see one, and after a while, hanging out at the food in the center, I suddenly felt buffeted by the intense, excited, energy of a group of women swirling by me. I felt overwhelmed, the breath knocked out of me, pushed this way and that in the swirl of their wake.

So I went and sat down, over on the edge of the room, by myself, and closed my eyes. I pulled my energies in, ceased searching for a place in the room outside and allowed myself to be alone with the inside, with myself. Asking what is here, feeling into my own presence, and found myself a bit. I was so connected to spirit after holding space outside that I think it was easier to do than often might have been. I could choose to let go of the voices that usually would feel bad about not having a place, or being left out, and the rest followed. When I opened my eyes to the room, feeling calm and present, purpose and meaning came to me. Some conversations, and later the honor of working energetically with a friend and being gifted with another perspective on a similar process. I was now at home in myself, acting from my essence.

One of the aspects of the mind that we call the ego is that it gives us self-definition. Who are we? In particular what is our place in the web of life, the matrix of places, people, and roles that makes up society and the world we live in. This definition gives us a mission, a sense of purpose, which is usually an important part sense of self. “This is who I am”, “I play these roles and do these tasks”.

At times we find ourselves in situations where that goes away, the role is finished or on pause, or has never been clearly defined, we are not so connected to the people around us, and we “don’t know what to do”. The ego will feel uncomfortable and perhaps scared. There is a sense of being lost, in separation, alone.

In response to this, we go into a search for someone, or something, to give us a sense of our place, or purpose. We are looking to plug back into the matrix, to redefine our sense of self, as our programing says that with out this we are not safe. When it is not immediately clear how to do this, where to find what we are looking for, we may search for a relief instead, something to distract us, “feed” us, make us OK. But that is another topic.

This search mode is outwards, and our energy disperses, spreads wide. This opens us up; is it here?, is it there?, where will we find the picture, the person, the mission, to orient to, to express ourselves and give us purpose? We can become more truly lost, energy chasing people, jobs, roles.

In a place, or situation with a lot of energy we are open, too open to the flows and they pull at us like tides, or buffet us like a swirling wind. We go under, drown, loss our sense of self in a deeper way than before. This can be true in a room at a party, in the midst of a crowd of ceremonialists, or in our life. We are ripped apart by the energies swirling in the world around us, and spread out across the matrix, like the fog blown apart by the incoming sea breeze, or the smoke spreading out from a dying fire. Dazed and confused we have lost ourselves and sense of Self.

Going to another level. As spirits we are always connected to the flow of energy, to God/Goddess, to Source. If we are aware on this level we can always find our Self. Going inwards we coalesce, feel our grounding in the earth, to the heavens, the directions, our spiritual energetic matrix. Taking time to still ourselves and find our center (ground and breath) we regroup our energies, the fire rekindles and we tune into our own essence of who we are.

Pulling our energy in requires letting go on the ego level. We need to be OK with that feeling of being “lost”, out of place, or however that shows up for us. Letting go of our need to have a place, of our attachments to the web, we can sit quietly and find our Self. Find the awareness of being whole, in the flow from Source, of being blessed with abundance.

This may take some practice.

Then something interesting happens. The matrix begins to come to you. Opportunities will show up for you to choose what expresses who you are. A friend comes by, or a stranger says hello. A task presents itself for us to work with. We are centered in ourselves, at ease with being still, gathering our strength for whatever we choose to use it for. The flows and eddies of life, swirling around us all the time, bring people, missions, purposes to us. Being in Self, you are in power and this is noticed as well. Being still you are attractive, and life flows to you. Knowing your Self, you can know what to choose, how to re-engage, and laugh being glad and joyful.

It has been said that we have to be able to be alone, before we can be in relationship. I’ve heard this before, but I’m getting it more deeply now. To be OK alone we have to BE on a different level. Unplugged from the matrix, from others, but tuned into ourselves on the level where we are always connected, always at One.

Its like floating in the void, that great darkness that is not empty, but fully pregnant with possibility, with unformed energy. It holds us and permeates us and we can settle into it more fully than floating on water. We are alone on the ego level, but alive and connected on the soul level. From this place we can then re-enter the matrix, come into relationship with all things in a new way, free of fear, full of love, knowing that no matter how the flow of life evolves we are who we are, we are at one. In fact we are always connected to the other, even when we are not.

(© 12/2007)

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Dancing with the Goddess

Posted on November 15, 2007 by mcallister

Engrossed in preparing dinner in the kitchen I feel her come up behind me and put her arms around me. My heart opens to her presence, coming to me through the memory of a lover who is no longer here. I feel into this embrace, full of love and joy, softly powerful she invites me to dance with her in the echoes of my mind. Embracing her, or being embraced, we dance across the space that is both here and then.

Even then it was the Goddess in the form of my beloved, who I played and danced with in joy and amusement. It all comes clear, that even though this beloved has moved on, the Goddess is still here dancing with me as she did then. I realize she is always there for me, and am deeply grateful to my beloved for having opened the windows that She moves through now. Gone is the sadness and grief at “losing” what came before, in an instant opening to gratitude, love, and joy, that have always been there.

Opening further I feel my own feminine coming alive in the dance. The Goddess shines through me and illumines my own manifestation of her energies. There is the girl, the young woman, the powerful mother, the wise woman, all the aspects alive in this dance. Inviting the divine masculine to come through my “other side” I am the boy, the young man, the father and the wise man. The kitchen is becoming full. Full of love and the dance of energies embracing, supporting, nurturing, protecting.

We are all, all of these if we open to let the God and Goddess shine through us. We are one perfect manifestation of their light, unique in beauty and in shadow. But this dance is large enough to embrace it all, to nurture and comfort the shadows, encouraging gentle expansion, the light dancing with the dark, the male and the female. Spilling out into the living room we whirl across the floor, in and out of each other, as my beloved and I once danced physically and energetically, ecstatically, playfully.

Am I making love, creating love, my beloved, a new love, the Goddess and God, or with myself? The energy is all the same, layered thinly and mixing space and time, in the openness of my heart, my being. I breath into myself and nestle into the intimate embrace of the dance, and the kitchen glows with a warmth that it has not known since she went away.

(© 11/2007)

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Emotions of the Heart

Posted on October 12, 2007 by mcallister

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

“I open my heart to the emotion that will guide my soul. In this movement of openness, I release my fears and cross the threshold leading me towards a new beginning.” From the frontispiece of James Twyman’s book The Secret of the Beloved Disciple.

The heart is a magnificent compass that, when opened and given ear can guide us through life more gracefully and powerfully than the mind can ever hope to. Learning to open it and how to listen to it is a process that is well worth the time and the pain that comes as we learn to release the fears that close it and block our inner ears.

It is indeed a place in which we can connect to our soul, in which we can hear the voice of our true self. It is a compass that is always working, though we may not listen, and one which, when we trust it, can magically and magnificently guide us home, back to our soul.

It will tell us when we are being true to ourselves, and when we have strayed, what places, people, and activities really feed us and which ones drain us. Its language may be new to many of us, but it is rich and deep, like the song of the whales, and will take us places that the gyrations of our minds can never get to.

The heart’s language is full of gratitude, love, joy, enthusiasm, playfulness, and the other emotions of the soul. When we open our hearts we can access these in infinite supply, not as something other, or out there, but as a part of who we are, in here, our essence shining forth for us and through us for the world.

The journey of discovery that opens our hearts, that learns it’s emotions, that learns it’s song, is the greatest journey that human beings can take. It is why we come here, to this beautiful planet. And when we are ready to let go and trust our hearts, we (the small we of the mind and the ego) have nothing to do but follow the flow of the energies and emotions that naturally pour through our open hearts.

Perhaps we come here to this beautiful green/blue planet, because it offers us so much opportunity for wonder and love. Opening your heart to other people can be challenging, scary, too much past experience that says we may get hurt. So practice opening your heart to a hill, a mountain, a tree, the ocean, what ever aspect of nature most draws you. Let that be your teacher. Or perhaps you know a small child, or a pet that still knows how to live with open heart and practice with them.

As this new knowledge and awareness grows, you will find other opportunities. A piece of music, a work of art, a really funny joke, the smell of a flower, or a diner cooked with love. These are all portals to the magical world of the heart. Then one day you may meet a person and you can find it there too. They may be someone you are in relationship with, or will be, or they may be a clerk at the post office or a waitress at a diner. Spirit is funny this way.

Just let your heart open, and own that for yourself first. That wonderful feeling is you giving to you. You listening to the song of your soul. It is a station that you can always tune into night or day, rain or shine, just step through the fear, to that wonderful shore which is washed by the ocean of love that is Spirit, that shore that is inside your own heart.

Like many journeys this one can have its twists and turns, ups and downs, rainy days and blistering heats, but it is guaranteed to get you there in time. All it really requires is sincere intention, belief, and trust that your own heart knows its way home, that allowing the emotions to flow will cleanse you, purify you, and make you ready to receive all that you are. So when you are tired of trying to figure it all out, call out to your heart, commit to opening it up, and let it lead you.

(© 10/2007)

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On Nursing Intuition

Posted on September 12, 2007 by mcallister

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

The ability of a nurse practitioner to come to conclusions about the state of their patient and how they should best proceed with their care is based on various channels of information input and on several levels of information processing. Here we focus on the ability of a nurse to be aware and perceive things about their patients outside of the dominant physical sensory channels of sight and sound.

Considering the human being as an energetic system, we have the ability to exchange energy with The our environment, including other human beings, in many different ways. These include, but are not limited to sight, sound, and touch. These exchanges occur due to the ability of various parts of our being to resonate with aspects of our environment. As complex energetic systems we can resonate in many more ways than just through the physical senses. Anyone who has felt a musical performance vibrating through their body knows that we can perceive sound waves with more of our physiology than the nerves of the inner ear. Extending this experience, any part of our body or being may resonate with aspects of the environment opening a channel for energy or information exchange.

We have a whole emotional aspect which can resonate and exchange energy with other human beings. While this is not the only “extra-sensory” energetic level that nurses use, it is probably the most common and dominant one. By tuning into (either consciously or sub-consciously) to their own emotional system they can become aware of the perturbations caused by energy exchanges through resonances on this level. When feed into the intuitive/integral aspects of the brain/mind for processing we have the basis for the nurse’s “intuition” about their client.

In practice this emotional channel will be integrated with other sources of information and past experience, both about a particular client and other clients in similar situations.

There are several such energetic channels that human beings work with, either sub-consciously (as is true for most of us) or consciously to varying degrees. These include the empathic/emotional channel, a feeling channel usually associated with the heart, and various mental levels of extra-sensory perception and communication. A given practitioner may be using some, or all of these, in varying combinations and to varying degrees.

A separate, but related topic is entered when we consider that once a channel of energy exchange or “communication” is opened energy may flow both ways. This underpins the effectiveness of love, compassion and other forms of “caring” in the healing arts. It may also mediate exchanges, or have consequences, that are less beneficial, especially to the practitioner. This is why awareness and training in this area is of great importance.

Once this channel is open it is a two way street for energy as well as information. When this is set up without conscious control and monitoring, there can be a variety of unwanted consequences. These include being energetically drained by clients, being “gifted” with emotional and physical energies that they don’t want, and being programed by them. This is not meant to frighten anyone, it is part of how we operate as human beings all the time, though generally accentuated in several ways.

By learning to be more aware of our energetic selves, we can begin to choose which aspects of these channels are useful, and which are not. We can learn how to set them up so that we filter the less useful aspects out, or rearrange how we work with them to avoid unwanted side affects. This is something we can all do. You are already doing it, just not in a fully conscious, directed fashion, because our society in general does not teach us how to.

(© 9/2007)

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Hypnosis and Trance

Posted on May 11, 2007 by mcallister

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

States of Consciousness

Human experience occurs on many levels, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual; with or without our being consciously aware of it. In fact we are normally unaware of most of our physical experience, the beating of our heart, the workings of our digestion, often even our own breathing. Similarly we may be more or less aware of our emotional and mental states. Just think about driving on the freeway.

When necessary, and with practice, we can focus our attention on most of these aspects of our experience, though even then our brain filters out much of the raw information. On the other-hand when we are day dreaming, remembering the past, or worrying about the future, we are often unaware of much of our everyday experience.

We may think in terms of being “asleep” or “awake”, but there are actually a whole range of levels of awareness, from completely present and alert, to comatose. In the extremes of danger or being in love, time may slow down and we may have an detailed and heightened awareness of all our senses. On the other hand watching TV we may feel that we are “awake”, but be quite unresponsive to someone calling our name.

The full palette of conscious states depends on many variables: intensity of attention, breadth of awareness, level of attention (physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual). Our life experience flows over this palette, focused here, relaxed there, as our need, circumstances, ability, and intention vary. In practice we mix and match, our moment to moment awareness being stitched together from bits and pieces across all these variables.

This is only the flow and thread of our conscious awareness. Our being is experiencing a much wider range of sensory and other input all the time. Contrary to past belief we are affected by all of our experience, conscious or otherwise. Moreover there are often memories, experiences, or states of being that have become “unconscious”, through denial, imposed unconsciousness, or lack of use. These are places our attention has trouble going, or can go to, but which we cannot bring back into “normal” waking consciousness. E.g., sleep or deep trance, where we have trouble remembering what has occurred afterward.

Although these aspects are “out of sight” they are not “out of mind”, often having a major influence on our life experience. With practice and help we can learn to open up our states of consciousness, to learn to stear the vessel of our awareness over more of the palette of possible states. This allows us to learn to live consciously in a wider range of circumstances, to step out of habits, patterns, and dynamics that don’t serve us, to step up to fuller, freer, experiences of our own choosing.

Hypnosis and Trance

Hypnosis is a process that uses deep physical and mental relaxation, to allow us to journey into those areas that we normally do not remember (the subconscious/unconscious) in a way that we can connect these levels with the conscious awareness, the personality level of ourselves. We learn to let the conscious waking mind either wander off or step back into a witnessing role that allows direct communication with our subconscious and also higher conscious aspects.

It is part of the spectrum that includes day dreams, nodding off in class, TV daze, guided relaxation and meditation, story telling, and other common experiences. Within the realm of hypnosis itself there are a wide range of levels of trance. Just as the anesthetist in the operating room learns that there are 100 levels of “unconsciousness”, trances can be so light you are not aware of them, deep enough that we know we are “out” but can follow everything, or so deep that we may not recall what has occurred.

This full spectrum may be called trance states. We are nearly always in some level of trance, from light “cruse mode” to deep sleep. Some trance states, e.g. day dreaming in various forms is common to us all, other aspects, as in meditative or religious experiences may be less common. With practice you can go deeper while still being aware and remembering what has happened. This is similar to learning to remember your dreams.

The Subconscious and Hypnotic Suggestions

Hypnotic suggestions bypass the conscious mind, and lodge directly in the subconscious mind. When given a new suggestion that is within the bounds of a person’s belief system and moral orientation, the subconscious mind accepts the suggestion literally as new reality.

It is possible to receive suggestions from a therapist, suggestions created by you in order to move towards your goals. You can also learn the process of self-hypnosis, in which you take yourself into a light trance and give suggestions to yourself, “the power of positive thinking”.

If you have ever been “talked into” something, by TV commercials, your boss, friends or family, and then gone ahead and done it, you have been through this process. It is really something that we are all familiar with, we do it all the time. In hypnotherapy you work with the programming of the subconscious consciously, for your highest good. Rather than being “programed”, you learn to program yourself for success, as you define it.

The power of the influence is not limited to words. A friend once went furniture shopping for her new apartment, taking along a good friend. She was very excited about finding the perfect pieces for her new place, but several days later when it was all in place, realized that somehow she had not bought her own furniture. She had come home with the things her friend liked instead!

Guided Trance Work

The mind is somewhat like an iceberg, with the bulk of it submerged below the surface of the water. We are taught that the small part above water is who we are and that our conscious mind is in charge of our life. However, the truth is that most of our mind, who we are, our experience, is under the surface of the ocean of consciousness.

With guided trance work, or interactive hypnosis, you are able to access this larger portion of the mind which strongly influences who you are and what you experience in your life. This subconscious mind has often been viewed as a source of problems or difficulties for us, and it does contain aspects that we have chosen to forget. However, it is also a great resource! The subconscious/unconscious mind contributes largely to intuition, creativity, our health and well being on all levels. It can control our lives, and if we make it our friend it can do so with wonderful results.

Guided trance work is an interactive process, in which we use various techniques, including regressions and journey work of many sorts, to meet your spiritual guides, inner aspects of yourself, work on relationships with others, and much more. It is a co-creative process in which you experience elements from both the conscious and unconscious minds, input from your guidance and Spirit, producing powerful and transformative sessions. The therapist serves as a guide and facilitator, through this inner world of story and metaphor.

We write the story of our life, or allow circumstance to write it for us. In this arena you can learn to write it yourself, rewriting the old scripts where desirable, learning new tools for managing emotional and mental energies, both internally and in relationships. You can learn new emotional states, clear old ones, and transform your experience. This is a space for going from the difficult to ease, and from ease to great joy.

If you choose to, trance work and training offers a path into spirit and your essential Self, which is often as unconscious as our lower self. Past life and karmic clearing, energy balancing, soul retrieval are aspects of this level of work. It is an unfolding journey that we are all undergoing, learning who we truly are as souls and spiritual beings.

From programing yourself to sleep better, loose weight, reform habits; to exploring the deeper levels of who you are, why certain dramas or dynamics repeat in your life and relationships; to connecting with your spiritual guides, learning how to clear and set your energetic aspects, or realizing new levels of joy and enthusiasm; hypnosis and trance work is a great way to make use of the power of your own mind to create the life you want to live now!

(© 5/2007)

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