It is well known that when visualizing something you want to create, or attract into your life it is important to leave as many doorways as possible open for spirit to walk through in answering your prayer. Important aspects need to be specified, but other things can be left undefined to create more possibilities.
When it comes to things such as love or approval this is also true, though often challenging to remember and follow.
[Skipping a long discussion about the relative merits of providing these things for oneself, as opposed to expecting them from outside.]
If you insist that someone’s love or approval is the only answer to your prayer, you are seriously limiting the universe’s options. In many cases we compound the challenge by insisting that this much sought love and approval be expressed in specific ways. So in the process of requesting something very general, we narrow things down to not only who, but to how.
Then like a stream hurling itself against a rock, we vow that we will accept no substitutes. Our need has arisen from the pain of not receiving something we (perhaps rightly) expected from a parent or a lover, and we determine that until we get it from them we will refuse to consider other sources that may already exist in our lives.
So it becomes more challenging still, in that we have probably chosen to focus on sources that are unlikely to give us what we need or want. This was the original source of the issue. If they not only withheld love and approval, but perhaps invalidated us, or injured us, emotionally or otherwise, then the challenge grows larger.
But we are living in a universe that has a foundation of love and approval for all beings (not to say that experience is not often otherwise), in which there are sources in nature, in ourselves, in the very fabric of existence, and in many other people, met and meetable, and yet we have all our awareness focused (consciously or unconsciously) on a few hard closed rocks in this sea of energy.
We have tied ourselves up tight and solid in our ball of expectations, so that there is almost no way that we can get what we want the way we want it. And then we often use our failure to receive what we want to invalidate ourselves further, to conclude perhaps that we are not just lacking in love and approval, but somehow flawed and really unlovable, or unworthy of approval. This has, after all been our experience, hasn’t it?
Or has it? Pause to consider any time someone approved of you and you blew it off for whatever reason. Wrong person, wrong topic, not enough. How many times have there been like this? Take your sword of discrimination and begin to slice the bonds that bind you, that wrap you in the dark. Feel your light begin to expand. Give back all the invalidation that you have accepted. Realize how much of what you lack reflects the lack of those you sought to receive from. Slice some more ties. You are expanding further. Brightening from your core. Open yourself to the sea of possible love and approval around you, the very energy of space and time, the sunsets or the warmer breezes as spring approaches. Breathe deeply and let the bindings fall away.
Reclaim the validations that were passed over before. Include the dog wagging its tail, the smile from the checkout clerk, a well meaning but “off the mark” compliment. These are all aspects of the universe talking to you. Consider that while you may place more weight on certain people who are close to you, these other aspects manifest the universe just as directly. Try focusing on the small doses, noticing how many there actually are, and thinking that each one, whether they “know” you or not are a part of your dialogue with the divine. Let the light flow in, and continue to breathe.
Let go of the stories, settle into feeling. Open to the feeling of receiving, even if you think you don’t know how. Let go of that story. Feel whatever you feel, while calling in joy, love, and approval. Wait for things to shift. Breathe. Feel into that part of yourself, inner, higher, whatever, that knows, and has always known, that you are worthy, lovable, capable, or whatever else you have felt was lacking. Let go of the memories that reflect only the bound, wounded, small version of yourself. Lift these parts up into the light. Experience your higher self receiving them and giving them what they want. Your expansive self is a part with the light of creation that flows all around us. Climb off the back of the rock you have been stuck on and dive deep into the waters of life. Breathe deep. Relax. Open yourself to joy and love and amusement. Enjoy and celebrate.
(© 2/2008)
