Making Decisions

akido sword

When I started my practice I happened into a part time space. As my practice grew I needed to move. I was going out on my own. That felt good. But looking for office space was also new. There were requirements, physically and financially. There were limits on location. I had to learn how to find out about available spaces. Then there was going to see potential offices, all on time lines. It felt a bit overwhelming.

Spirit gave me a few options, but nothing that was clearly a best fit. I learned growing up to analyze all relevant information, so that I would know that I was making the best choice. Sometimes it’s not possible to get to a clear decision that way.

Finally I stopped trying to figure it all out and just decided on one. I discovered that making a decision felt good. Even if I didn’t analytically know it was the “right” choice. It felt great to just be decisive! There was a powerful energy to making that choice, to trusting myself. I also realized that I could always change it later. In practice it worked out very well.

I wasn’t alone in making that choice. My guidance was there with me even if I wasn’t used to listening to it actively. Since then, I have worked to open a stronger clearer channel. For me it works best to keep the communication very simple. I usually ask simple yes/no questions. I usually hear an answer. For a while I used simple muscle testing. Or I may imagine the possibilities and notice how I feel. How does your body and spirit communicate most easily? Then go with that.

Find ways to play with it. I still play a game about traffic routes across town. Something that is not so important, and where I can get direct feedback. It’s OK that the answers aren’t always “correct”. Or that answers may be ambiguous or change. Or that sometimes I don’t listen.

Over time the communication grows clearer and my trust increases. Over time I calibrate the process. I know that somethings are a matter of timing. I suspect that sometimes it doesn’t really matter which option I pick, so guidance may say yes to all the options. I know that occasionally my guidance tests me, or that what my idea of correct is and what they want me to do may be different.

I’ve worked with listening to guidance. I’ve also deepened into feeling into my heart and the knowing of my body and being.

This works for anything. What food to eat. When, or whether, to say something or hold silence. I once rebuilt a house working with Spirit and guidance. I received all the information and assistance I needed as I needed it. Recently my beloved and I bought a new car. There was a lot of research to do. But I decided to trust my guides and my feelings (and my beloved’s intuitions) and skip much of the analytics. The stress levels were significantly reduced and the process wound up very nicely.

Cultivating that feeling of decisiveness, of simply making a choice in your life, is intimately related to exploring your relationship with your intuitive side. We all have the ability to build these muscles, to trust in ourselves and tap vast resources that supplement our analytic mind. Part of you knows. Your guidance is always available. Cultivate the ability to use all your tools and you’ll make better and easier decisions. Eventually this leads to a smooth navigation of life, knowing what serves best in each moment.

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Solar Eclipse

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

Solar Eclipse

The Sun and the Moon are approaching a powerful rendezvous.

They do this once a month, though at an eclipse they meet more closely than usual. At each new moon she goes into the dark. Darkness is part of the Yin, the deep feminine. Not the darkness of contracted emotion, but the darkness of space, leading to the Void. That source of potential, from which all manifest things are born.

A solar eclipse happens when the moon invites the Sun to join her in darkness. The Moon knows how to go into the dark without fear, unveiling sources of creativity in the midst of deep shadow. At the new Moon the stars are most visible. Points of creation within space. Producing the matter that makes up the worlds and the life that lives on them. Like the dot of Yang in the Yin side of a Yin-Yang symbol, the stars are masculine source points in the midst of feminine space.

Our star, the Sun, is the source of energy that powers Life on Earth. While it goes out of sight each night, it rarely is shadowed like the moon. At eclipse the new Moon passes in front of the Sun. In her darkness she covers the Sun and leads us into the Solar shadow. Except the Corona, which still shines around the edge of the moon. The Corona is the solar magnetic field, full of gas, and lit by the Solar radiance from below. Usually we can’t see it because it is much less bright than the direct radiance of the Sun. During total eclipse it shows spirit white against space.

This eclipse is happening as the Sun approaches Solar Minimum, that part of the 11 year solar cycle when its activity is lowest. This means that the corona will be dimmer and less structured than it would be at other times. The Sun is going into the darkest dark that is possible.

During the full darkness at the heart of an eclipse we also see the stars, all the other Suns. These points of creation and inspiration, shine brightly in the darkness of space. The dark is not empty, but full of Spirit. It is the face of the Void within which exist Unity and Creation.

While the Void is the source of both Masculine and Feminine, approaching it through the dark feels more uncomfortable to the bright masculine. Going into the Void, all forms, all doing, fade and dissolve. It is a journey of releasing old forms to find new ones. Personally it requires releasing the form of the ego.

The deep feminine inside our hearts can help us to navigate the shadowed aspects of the masculine. It knows how to move through the fears that arise. It knows how to release old form so that new form can be born. The journey into darkness reveals all the fears and angers, all of our own inner shadows, personally and collectively. This is potentially a good thing, if we can recognize them without judgement, letting them resolve and transform.

Normally fears and repressed emotions push us back from the dark, keep us from approaching the Void. This is in part how our egos maintain separateness, maintain their identity. But when we can move through the fear we find a death on one level, but a rebirth into another level. The Christ showed us how to die in the flesh to be reborn in Spirit. Mary Magdalene was his feminine guide, as the Moon is the Sun’s. Turning our gaze to the stars and the corona, we find the light within the dark. We see that Source is still there even in the deepest night.

As we emerge on the other side, the ability to manifest from Light will be abundant.

Practice: Perhaps you have noticed old shadows surfacing in your life, personal or collective. This is the reflection of the eclipse, the power it has to bring healing. Focus on the points of light in your heart, then in all hearts, and let the waves of darkness roll by. The Moon leads us into the dark and she will lead us out, into the Light of the Sun and into the Light of the new Lunar cycle as well. Refocus from what seems dark to you, to what seems light; the stars and corona in your life. Go into your heart and surrender your fear, invite the Love that is always within you to shine there. Surrender you self into the Void and discover the stars that are there to bring into your life.

(© 08/2017)

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What Serves?

Dervishes

As I walk through life I encounter all manner of people, places, ideas, things. My attention reaches out to explore and becomes engaged. Interacting and responding in many different ways, I become enmeshed in my experiences and aspects of the world become a part of my life.

The modern world is so complex that it is impossible to take it all in, engage and experience everything I encounter. Consciously, unconsciously, or through some mixture we select what we accept into our lives. The extremes are to take it all on, or to hide, with many shades and strategies in between.

However the selection is made, life generally includes a mixture of things that serve us and ones which do not. How often do we consciously ask ourselves what serves us? Suites us, nourishes us, or improves us in some way. But what aspects of our Self/self do we use as a yardstick? Is it what makes taste buds happy, what fills the belly, or what feels good in the body tomorrow? Is it what serves body, emotions, mind or soul? Some or all of us?

Human brains are wired to ask: what can I use and what do I need to stay away from? Basic survival. This only teaches us about what our body and ego want, subject to unconscious ideas and concepts. We can have beliefs that serve on one level but not on others. I love the taste of chocolate. I feel good eating it. If I indulge too much it’s bad for my body and doesn’t sit well in my stomach.

Consciously exploring what serves, teaches us about ourselves. We learn over time what works and what doesn’t by trial and error. Consciously asking speeds the knowing up. Receiving the answer is a deep commitment to taking care of yourself. Listening to self/Self further advances knowing.

Energetically, there is resonance. What resonates with my Being? What promotes harmony and ease? Some things resonate with me, others don’t. I can feel this. Asking my body/being, and listening to the response, I can learn to feel/know what is in tune with, or will help me tune to, my Being. I don’t have to mentally understand it all, just ask and feel into harmony or discord. Often when I let go my mind the answers are surprising, not what my mental concepts suggest or expect.

How I answer “What serves?” determines where I give my attention, time, and energy. Determines what I make up my life. It is easy to get hooked (sometimes for noble and valid reasons) into all sort of things in the world. But do they serve me? Or are they distractions from my Soul’s purpose, from my highest good. I am not judging them, only asking: right now does this serve me? Things may often resonate a little. But why settle for a little? I can almost always find something good about a movie, but which ones elevate me, inspire me, or inform me in a deep way?

To be clear about my choices, I have to be clear about myself and how I want to be in the world. This comes from practicing how to access and listen to my Self. Then I can filter what truly serves from what doesn’t, from what is merely entertaining, distracting, or even harmful. Consistently asking “what serves?”, and choosing accordingly, creates the foundation for a life full of joy. Choose Joy as often as possible.

(© 08/2017)

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Talking with the Universe

by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys

Bear's Lodge Butte

There are many ways to consciously talk with the Universe. Day dreaming and prayer are perhaps two of the most common. Meditation is about listening.

I have found that if I’m paying attention I’m always in a conversation with the Universe. I once had a verbal conversation that manifested through three different people over the course of a week. Much of the time I’m not really paying attention. I figure much of it is a “keeping connected” sort of dialogue, like you might have with a good friend. This may be more about feeling tone than words. There are other levels which are about noticing cool things, or points of interest, which may be fun without having greater significance.

Then there are the messages, the syncronicities, the questions and answers that shape and guide the course of my life. This is also ongoing, but at various levels of importance or significance. It comes through conversation with my beloved, or my best friend, with spiritual guidance, animals, trees, or a seemingly random phrase overheard at the grocery store.

It is often in the form of questions and answers. I have questions: Who am I? What should I be doing with my life? When will I meet my beloved? are at the top of the list. On the other hand: What does my body want to eat right now? or which route should I take to get to the store? are common place examples. In between I often check in on the timing of something I might say to a friend, or if I should voice it at all.

I often ask these questions consciously, sometimes out loud, or in ceremony. Other times I’m half conscious of a question, “I wonder what is ready in me to complete and release?” which may feel like an idle musing. The Universe “hears” it all. And answers in a timely manner and appropriate way. “Timely” and “appropriate” can be a bit flexible though. Occasionally I think the Universe asks me questions. These may be dramatic, “Are you ready to die?” or more subtle, “Is this the trail you want to take today?”. Sometimes answers may feel like questions (especially when the original question was vague) “Is this sort of what you had in mind?”

Many of the experiences we have during the day may be answers to questions. Sometimes many years old. The Universe has a different sense of time than we do. Some say it has no sense of time. This complicates sorting out what question an answer is responding to.

Knowing that an image from your mediation or dream, a piece of conversation, a line in a book, the hawk circling over head has information for me is one thing. Understanding what it is and what it is relevant to is another. I have learned doing readings to trust the images, words and feelings, but the meaning level can vary widely from obvious to tenuous. The more obscure it is for me often the more meaning it has for the person I’m doing the reading for. Dream interpretation can be similarly fluid.

Five years ago I went on a journey to the Pacific Northwest. On my journey I had many experiences that stuck out a bit from the rest of the day: meditations, dreams, conversations, meetings and events. Some of them had a clear meaning for me at the time they occurred. Others had the feeling of import but no clear meaning. Some were lost in the background of the day.

Later in my trip things happened that gave context to an earlier communication, or answered a question I had asked, explicitly or implicitly.

When I came home I wrote it all out and more noticed more meanings. More dots connected. I also had experiences after I had “finished” the journey that explained or shed light on specific pieces. I found goose feathers outside Vancouver and happened to go to an outdoor writing workshop the day after I got back, but didn’t put these events together with writing a book until a ceremonial piece the next year. The Universe gave me the quills to write about my journey.

I have rewritten the material several more times and each time more clarity comes. It was the third time through that I understood the themes of my four days in Vancouver relative to the deeper intentions I had set. I’ve learned that sometimes I have to clear a few things out before I am ready to receive an answer, or to understand it. Some of that clearing can appear to be quite unrelated to the original question.

An even larger piece was that I hoped to meet someone special in Vancouver. She came to me in my dreams, but I hadn’t met her in this life yet, so had no clue that I was meeting a living person. A few months after returning to Boulder, I did meet her but didn’t realize she was my beloved or the lady in my dreams. It was two years later before we connected more deeply and both realized that we had been looking for each other a long time. This year I am rewriting the journey again and I realize that other dreams on that trip were introductions to aspects of my beloved that I have come to appreciate since we came together. Even though I didn’t catch all the initial responses to my desire, the Universe arranged for us to meet anyway. Today I realize that I did meet my beloved where I had hoped to, just in dreamtime rather than waking life.

Some events and dreams are still a mystery and I am content that they may always be. The Universe will try again if I completely miss an important point. Other meanings grow and deepen each time we revisit them because we have grown and deepened. Learned more, learned less, understood more; the context keeps changing and our understanding keeps changing.

It’s OK if it takes time to understand something. The Universe is patient. If we are paying attention it might even be this life time.

(© 07/2017)

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Intention and Boundaries

Koi Pond

When I was first learning about energy tools we did an exercise about the power of centering and focusing our intention. Imagine yourself in a supermarket. Make it a large one, full of people around 5:00pm. Imagine that there are things you need, but you don’t have a handy list with you, so you are walking the isles scanning for them. Notice what is happening to your attention. Notice how your body feels.

Now pause, imagine closing your eyes, letting go of all the sensory input, letting go of all the feelings. Breathe deeply and bring all your attention back to the center of your head. Give yourself a grounding cord, connecting the base of your spine to the center of the earth. Breathe in clear air, fresh energy, calm and easy. Release everything that you notice pulling your mind and attention. Breathe in ease and grace focusing all your attention gently in the center of your head.

Imagine returning to the grocery store. This time give yourself a grounding cord and collect yourself in the center of your head. Imagine you have a focused intention and a clear sense of what you are after, walking the isles directly to where you need to go. Notice how you feel this time, and what emotions arise. Use your breath to keep returning to center when your attention wanders.

Sometimes I walk into a big crowded store and I feel overwhelmed; sensory overload. So many things all packaged and displayed in order to stand out and grab my attention. Many people at a hurried time of day creates turbulent swirls and eddies of emotional energy. If I have a clear intention and know what I’m after, I can ground, pull my aura in, center and do what I need to do. If I’m wandering around looking for things or trying to remember what it is I wanted, then it’s much harder to keep my space clear.

There is a direct relationship between having a clear intention, or purpose, and having solid boundaries. It is hard to have clear boundaries with other people, or the world in general when I am uncentered and searching. To receive something I want I inevitably open myself up. At the same time my attention moves outward, catching at one thing after another. While my attention is scattered outward, everything around me is coming into my space. This feels overwhelming, disorienting, and sometimes downright funky.

When you are clear in your purpose, you are clear about who you are. Being clear about who you are you are naturally seated in the center of your being. Even when looking for something, you observe from a balanced place. Fully present within yourself, there is no searching, or opening up; no spaces needing to be filled; boundaries become easy and effortless. You can visit family, attend a party, go shopping, or write a news letter and not get lost. Knowing yourself inside allows you to more easily hold solid boundaries.

The next time you are feeling lost or scattered, overwhelmed or out of sorts, pause, breathe, ground; find the center of your head, the center of your being. Release anything that doesn’t serve you, including mental spinning of all sorts. Notice your personal space is clearing, your being is becoming present. Refocus on your intention and purpose. Let it arise within you. When things are clear, then reengage, your boundaries will be solid and you can navigate cleanly in any situation.

(© 05/2017)

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