Clearing Karma

Around town other drivers periodically do creative things that are rude and often dangerous. Like deciding to turn left from the right-hand lane of a four lane road without bothering to use a turn signal. When this happens close to me, or I am in a reactive mood, I can skip right through fear and go straight to anger. A heartbeat after the anger my mind starts a commentary on the offending driver’s mental abilities, general character, and status as something other than fully human. In an aggravated mood all sorts of creative stories, mostly unflattering, will roll through my awareness.

These stories trigger corresponding emotions, calling up all resonant old stories, justifying exactly how angry I am. This creates an ongoing feedback loop, where my mind remembers, or creates, stories to explain (justify) what I am feeling, to which my emotional body responds with the matching emotional content, calling up more stories….

I’m sure you can come up with other examples that involve any of the emotions, including the “positive” ones.

David Bohm once pointed out that the biochemistry of thoughts and emotions is essentially the same. The same neurotransmitters seem to be involved in both levels of our being, even though we experience them differently. Each thought has at least a muted associated emotional component. Our physical brain uses these to determine how important each thought is. Emotions and thoughts can arise independently, although they usually couple up in short order, as above. The ones that are heavily weighted become habits and the habitual ones are in time heavily weighted. Karma and limitation.

A key to releasing old patterns of thought or belief is to decouple them from their associated emotions. This is something like bleaching the color from a photograph, only in this case it is the emotional/energetic life force that needs to be released and reclaimed. This decoupling and neutralizing of memories and experiences, leads to freedom of choice and action, when the past no longer has the power to constrain how we respond to the present.

The mind, however, has habits and expectations. Even when the emotion charge has been cleared, current events can trigger old pictures, which may, if we aren’t paying attention, cause the emotional body will fill them back in again, with the expected emotional coloring. When you do pay attention, pause the mental picture reacting to a situation, you can notice that any rising emotion is only in response to the expectation of what used to be there. Letting that shadow go, you can choose to reach underneath your expectation, into the positive being of your unfettered core, shifting your relationship to the old picture rather than loosing power to it again. Your spiritual core is outside the mental-emotional loop, and provides access to the deep feelings of joy and certainty. Giving these your attention brings them into awareness, in place of the old emotions.

Learning to release the emotions associated with mental pictures and beliefs, frees you from looping. Learning to pause your emotional responses to mental expectations, you remember that feeling inside yourself can be a wonderful experience, a joyous dance with yourself, rather than something to shy away from with fear and resistance. You become free and empowered to show up for everything in your life, as your whole essential self to think and to feel from joy and enthusiasm, uniting your head and heart in a wonderful creative partnership, free from the limiting associations of your past.
Freedom.

(© 12/2012)

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Re-tasking

My heart is enthusiastic to be moving from my old office, which has served me well, to a new office nestled up against the mountains in the mouth of Boulder Canyon. My last task in leaving will be repainting the walls a neutral white. My first reaction was to treat this as something I have to complete before I can get on with being enthusiastic. I notice resistance, hurry and a sense of pushing to do what’s necessary, which takes me completely out of the present.

Coming to a new task, if we are driven by the need to get it done, skipping ahead to the next thing on the list, we can never really be present with it. We see the underlying assumption that freedom comes when everything is done, that then we can be happy. This is a lie. There is always something more to do, and in the meantime we struggle through tasks that we experience as laborious, because from the beginning we just want to finish them and move on.

What happens when you pause as you start a task, pull your attention into the moment, and engage with it directly? Let go of what comes next. Ask how you can enjoy your task, have fun, make it a game. Giving it your attention it becomes a vessel for Spirit. Dance your task as a dance with Spirit, right now, full of joy and appreciation for being alive, for having the capacity to do what you are doing, for the potential for expression and the fulfillment that comes whenever you give yourself to the present moment.

Thus the heaviness and resistance to doing any task releases. Shift from having to get it done so you can be happy, to being happy in the doing, excited that more good things are coming, but start the party now. If I am painting my office, I can take my time with the taping and preparation, knowing that this will make the painting easy and clean, I can appreciate the paint, the flow, the colors. I can dance with my impatience, noticing the false beliefs and fears that drive it, giving myself a healing. I can play my kirtan, breath and relax, here as well as anywhere. I can call up the excitement already present in my own being. Why wait?

In bringing the practices of relaxation and mindfulness to your task you transform it from something to be resented and hurried through, to an opportunity to learn, grow, do it well, and embody joy, without waiting for tomorrow, or any other condition you may set yourself. If you resent and hurry through a task, are you not simply saying that you are not yet worthy of feeling good about your life? an attitude that will follow you into each new day. Playing with your task, you practice feeling good in this moment and then the next, without condition, no matter what you are doing.

Before you start a task, sit with yourself and find the inner knowing that is always there: the certainty that you are worthy, you feel good, you can be present for yourself and dance with Spirit. Give yourself permission to practice this awareness while doing your task. Release the fears as they come up, calm the hurrying mind. Practice peace with yourself in each moment and you will do your task well and in joy.

(© 12/2012)

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Creating Space for Spirit

The most powerful thing you can do is give something your attention. If you can give it your pure and undivided attention miracles happen.

Attention is divided by objects that divide our focus and by our own thoughts and mind. You may be staring at something but daydreaming about something else. Catch yourself, call back wandering thoughts and focus fully on what is in front of you, a person, a painting, or a flower.

Are you thinking about what you are looking at? Is there a commentary running in your mind? Perhaps it is only the thought that the flower is blue. Try letting go of this thought, which is just a label. When you allow yourself to see into it without the label, what do you notice that you were glossing over before? Is the blueness more varied, are their richer textures? Does the experience feel different?

When our attention is the carrier wave for analysis and judgement, it is not yet pure. The mind is trained to label what we see, and usually to judge as well. Then we are projecting as much as seeing, and our attention is still divided.

In spiritual work, in meditation this can also happen. I regularly check in with my chakras. I’ve been doing this for many years. Often its just a check list, like looking at my toes; one, two, three, four, five, ok ready to go. But I haven’t really seen them. I’m saying hello briefly, and if nothing is obviously wrong I am out the door and on with my day. When I do have time to sit, to really pay attention, I give them more space to be. By asking, what is present in my chakras? I create space for raw awareness, a bit of emotion, an old memory, a sense of contraction or of joy. They expand, clear, come alive, do whatever they need to do.

It is like letting go of the idea of blue, so that I can experience the richness of blueness.

Spiritual work, meditation or ceremony, is about the live presence of Spirit. Spirit is always present, but only when we give something our undivided attention do we experience it. The joy of the lover, who looks besotted at her beloved, creates the space to see Spirit, to feel Soul, to call Love into the world. If our meditation or ceremony is automatic, or full of labels, there is less room for Spirit. The quality of our attention creates space for Spirit to come alive and be present to us.

What is necessary in our spiritual work, is also possible in everyday life. The same attention that generates love in the space between you and your beloved, can feel Spirit in the spaciousness of your body. It can see the world in a grain of sand, or the beauty of soap bubbles on the plate you are washing.

Pick up your hand. See it with your eyes, softly and without words, whispering, what are you? Feel it with your heart. Notice the life force in it, reaching out to have a conversation with you. Notice the lines, the variation in color, perhaps even the cells and bones under the skin. Give your hand the full attention of your whole being. Feel the energy of Spirit dropping into the space between you and your hand, joining the conversation, opening your heart.

Imagine doing this with your foot, or your friend, or your partner. Imagine doing this with the whole world. Have a wonderful day!

(© 11/12)

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Judgement and Healing

When I lived in Japan I was fortunate to study Shiatsu with a master. He taught me how to feel chi, at least a little, and the fundamentals of how to apply pressure so that a body would accept it. This meant to be as completely relaxed as possible, using my body weight rather than force. If you touch someone with tension in your fingers their body will react to the tension and bracing against it, blocking all communication and access.

Years later I worked on a woman whose body was worn out with holding all that she was carrying in it. She told me, “don’t try to fix me” as apparently others had done so and she knew how stressful that would be. I spent the first session just saying hello to her body, reassuring it that I wasn’t going to move anything that it wasn’t ready to release. My guidance showed me that I easily could move quite a lot, but that would ignore her being, overtax her exhausted body, and be seriously counter productive.

Judging someone as being broken and needing fixing, like pressing with tension, is unconsciously felt as an attack and is automatically resisted.

When I was in class training to read energy the question came up, “What do you do if you see dark black energy in someone’s space? do you tell them or not?” The answer is, if you can be neutral to something, you can speak what you see. It is amazing what people can hear if you are neutral. But if you are in judgement of it, keep quiet. They will not be able to hear what you say, any more than my client could have received my wanting to fix her, or a body will receive tension in your fingertips.

If you have ever done something that caused a friend to get justifiably angry with you, you know how hard it is to apologize while they are in your face. As long as someone is yelling at you, you automatically react to that angry energy, and you can’t apologize while doing that, no matter how sorry you are, or how clearly you know you screwed up.

Any level of judgement will always interfere with or block communication, connection and intimacy. The act of making something or someone wrong, cuts you off from that other, and negates any other positive action or intention. It implies separation rather than connected relationship on your side and will be echoed in their response. Anything after that will be about power and competition no matter what you think you are doing or how different your intentions are.

The power of compassion, the ability to allow things to be as they are, is the opposite. It brings you into relationship, opens communication and connection, allowing change to take place. This is one of the great paradoxes; only by accepting what is, can you come to a place of being able to change it, and is just as true in relationship to aspects of your self. Press without tension and you can feel a person’s chi and send your own in to dance with it. Look without judgment and you will see with discrimination and others will hear truth. Look into your heart with compassion, allowing it to be present as it is, and your inner wounds will desolve into love. Bring that out into the world and healing will sprout around you like flowers in the spring.

(© 11/2012)

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Kiss the Sky

Walking back from my mailbox this afternoon. I stop and look up at the sky. Its deep blue, splashed with white fluffs of cloud. Around me are trees, thousands of bright yellow autumn brushstrokes, and suddenly I feel the colors reaching into me. I sense that I am being fed, but also that being consciously present I am actively receiving them. A mutual interaction with the vibrancy of life, and a deep intimacy and joy. I know without thinking that it is good to come outside and stand in the spaciousness under this blue Colorado sky, that something in me wakes up and connects, that I need these colors, these vibrations.

You might not think of scientific inquiry and making love as the same thing, but fundamentally they are. Both are about being present with another aspect of the universe, opening to touch and be touched in a way that deepens and changes both parties. Both are inquiries into what is present in front of us and how we are experiencing it, best enacted with minimal projection and expectation, letting the mystery of the unknown unfold into understanding in the intimacy of the experience itself.

I stay with this experience, feeling into it and being drawn into my Self. When I go inside again there is a deep meditation in which I have a swirling vision of what happens when I meet the world. There is an opening and an acceptance of that new thing. Perhaps as much an inner opening and discovery/acceptance as an outward one. In opening to the other, you allow an aspect of source that is manifesting through it, or him or her, to come alive in you. It wells up like the reflection appearing in a mirror, taking form in response to the other. Your acceptance of the inner experience allows a part of your Self to be pulled into form in your self. In understanding the other, you open to your Self, just like opening your heart in love, and with as much joy.

This exploration is at the heart of science: sitting in the question so you can receive the answer. Human beings are the most complex and sensitive measuring instruments in the universe, meaning we can experience anything, any vibration or frequency, through our bodies and their physical extensions, including all the emotional, energetic, and spiritual aspects of Self.You have direct experience of much more than you imagine, and when you can sit open to this experience your inner divinity and an outer aspect of the divine come face to face. In that space, that open inquiry, spirit lands, and love is made. Love is spun whenever Source witnesses Itself with open appreciation and acceptance. This is the force that holds atoms together, binds planets around suns, yields the wonder of a sunrise, is the love for your beloved, or the joy of understanding the answer to a question.

Experience aspects of yourself this way, in compassionate appreciation, and feel the love expand. Open to nature and feel the love flow over you, twined with deep understanding. Find this with your mind and call it science, or with your beloved and call it love.

Enjoy your explorations and spin great love out into the world.

(© 10/2012)

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