Decisions

Posted on October 17, 2014 by mcallister

Sometimes we come to a decision, a fork in the road of our life, a place where you have one or more choices about how to move forward. Some forks are minor; what clothes to wear today, or what to eat for lunch. Others seem to be more important; what office to rent, who to build relationships with, should you move to a new place?

You may feel that taking one path will mean letting go of another path. If there is a right choice, the mind worries that good things will be missed, or unwanted things will happen, if you take the wrong one. Other times it may seem that there are two things you really want to do or be, but that you have to choose one or the other. You are torn. Perhaps there just seem to be to many options, to much information, and its all overwhelming. Ground and breathe.

When you are having trouble making a decision the answer is usually inside you rather than out in the world. Allow yourself to sit comfortably, ground and find your own space and sense of Self. Notice the levels of uncertainty. Let the spinning in the mind, and the boiling of the emotions be present, with a bit of curiosity. These are all old pictures, beliefs and patterns being triggered. Practice noticing them and letting them go.

See the what ifs, the fears, the grief, self doubt or judgements. Give them all over to Source or the Earth. When the mental and emotional clutter and static is released you can begin to tune into the quite places close to where manifestation takes place. Drop into your heart and tune to the internal compass of passion and joy. There you can perceive the truth of your desire, the nature of the choices you think you have and see/create new ones that may serve you better. You are clearing space for clarity, for your core intention to come into focus, to listen to your heart, and for new options and alternative possibilities to surface.

Once you have settled and released the fears, there is an energy, a feeling of decision. Somewhere you know this, and you can practice with small things. It feels good to simply decide, to trust your Self and Spirit, without having to think it all out. Check in with your body/heart knowingness or ask your guidance simple questions. This is particularly good to use when there seem to be too many options. Most of the time there is no right or wrong, as Rumi has pointed out, simply different options, different paths. Notice when answers feel solid, or not. Any time you feel uncertain, sit with the uncertainty, explore it to see if its serving you or something to let go of.

In Spirit things are never black and white, and you can often have your cake and eat it too. Whenever you feel torn between two apparently incompatible options, its time to ask for other choices. As you gain clarity about your heart’s core desires, your intuitive imagination or guidance can show you alternatives that allow for combinations, or out of the box new view points that creatively include most or all of want you truly want. Allow these resources to drop answers or new possibilities into your mediations, dreams, or waking hours. Just hold the open question in your heart and notice what shows up.

The decision will have make itself, or making it you will know that whatever you choose will serve you well.

(© 10/2014)

Posted in Life Lessons, Newsletter, Psychology, Spiritual Process | 2 Comments

The Flow of the World

Posted on October 2, 2014 by mcallister

Sitting by a creek, watching the water flow by, I focus on its surface. Its not particularly turbulent and the bright sparkly reflections are up stream. What I am watching are subtle variations as the currents merge and eddy together, patterns of light in the thin upper layer flowing water sliding under the air above. There is just enough reflection to be able visualize the surface, rather than looking deeper at the stoney bottom underneath.

I play with shifting my focus back and forth between the surface and the stones, until I notice a bit of seasickness. The surface is flowing and the bottom is not, and shifting focus is creating a tension in my belly. My friend suggests looking now at the bank across the stream and as I do I notice two things. I can feel that it too is moving, not a visual, but a visceral sensation in my body. I also notice my body relaxing deeply in a very pleasant way.

A knowingness that there is a fluidity to the land, to the world, arises in me. I’m not sure if is physical, energetic or spiritual, but I know it is true. At the same time I know that my body is somehow usually involved in making it all stand still; so as to fit the fixed, permanent, picture of the world that my mind believes in and finds comforting. Releasing this effort my body relaxes and my being opens. I feel lighter, freer, joyful.

It seems my body knows how to flow in this way, it is its natural state too. I have seen before how strongly the mind wants things to be fixed and static, an innate, but misplaced, fear of change and death, which results in the tension I was feeling in my body. This impulse is contractive, frozen, and in the end ironically lifeless.

The next day, watching a sunset, I am gifted a related experience. I have been feeling some grief, sitting with it in my heart, feeling into a pressure that will open it up, if I can stay with it. I do, and my heart suddenly opens into a joy that is so much larger than the grief, that can easily hold it and let it dissipate. Grief arises naturally when we let things go, let them change, or perhaps it is our subconscious resistance, going against the natural flow of life. This love in the heart, which is a deep aspect of my spiritual self, is infinite, large enough to hold it all.

When you can drop into a place of accepting the flow, stop trying to look at the stones as fixed and let them flow too, your body and being is no longer trying to hold two contradictory things at the same time. You relax, your being effortlessly opens, and will naturally release the resistance and the holding on that we experience as grief. Opening you create space to feel into your own infinite Being, which can hold and transform everything that you are releasing.

Find your own stream and feeling into it with your body, relax into the flow of life as well as the water, full of spaciousness and joy.

(© 10/2014)

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Comfortable Shadows

Posted on September 16, 2014 by mcallister

Several months ago I was in a sweat lodge, feeling into what I needed to give away. What came up for me was grief.

At the time I was using grief to intentionally release attachment to a relationship I was trying to create. I have had a good deal of practice sitting with my grief over the years, letting it move through me, coming into a relationship with it that approaches being comfortable.

Now, there is truth in the idea that releasing needy attachment to relationships actually opens more space for them to be. Being able to grieve well is not a bad thing either. It’s an important part of being able to let the world flow and change, as it will.

The insight in that sweat was that I was indeed comfortable in my grief. My ego knew the territory and felt satisfied about navigating it. It was clear that beyond releasing it, I could hide out there, feeling like I was doing good “work”, and yet using that space to stay safe in known, if unhappy, territory. Wrapping myself in this grief, I was less present in my life, less able to create what I thought I wanted.

So I set an intention, not to stop grieving when that comes up naturally, but to let it go as a habit, as a relatively safe place to hang out. I challenged myself to be a bit more vulnerable, to step out more fully into my relationships. Vulnerable to joy as well as grief, showing up and trusting events to unfold.

I have also seen in myself how other aspects of personal shadow can be used as familiar refuges from stepping forward to engage the world. Ask people if they would like to give up a limiting fear, and mostly they will say “of course”. In practice, there are often places where we limit ourselves with a fear that is really very “reasonable”.

When I am grieving a relationship that hasn’t ended yet, there is fear in there. Fear that it will end and I might be unhappy. Listening to that fear encourages me to play it safe, rather than creating a possibly with greater joy and happiness. Safety of this sort, is not about being fully alive, but hiding in our shadow while wishing we were in the light.

However, good at processing I am, I need to look closely at when it truly serves me, helping me to be more present with myself and others, and when it is just a place to hang out in, or has become a habit of its own.

Being gentle with yourself, begin to ask, where do you hang out in your shadow because its yours and you know it? Perhaps like me, you are on intimate terms with it even. Where has it gone beyond the remnants of old wounds and become a habit that helps define your life? If you find something, begin to explore how it seems to keep you safe, if a bit contracted, and ask for guidance about how to release it and choose to go for expansion and a richer life.

Choosing to step out of the shadows is edgy, but the light is waiting for you. Waiting to help you create new options and possibilities from a different place in your Self. Give yourself permission to let go the cloaks of grief, fear, or anger, and begin to weave new ones from joy and love.

(© 9/2014)

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In Rhythm

Posted on September 2, 2014 by mcallister

The rhythm of the waves on a beach, changing with wind, tide, and the cycles of the moon. The colors of a rainbow always flowing from purple to red and sometimes back again. Trees growing thicker on north facing slopes and water always flowing down hill. The spots on a leopard and the seasons of the year.

The manifest universe is comprised of rhythms, frequencies, that we experience as wave forms and the patterns created when the rhythms and waves combine and interact. Within these everything has its place in the web that is Life.

Some patterns are simple, obvious, and others are complex enough that you loose any sense that there even is a pattern. You know when the movie runs backward, and can feel the beauty of the most artistically complex clouds that are only collections of water dense enough to reflect light. Each tree has a pattern of branches though its leaves may blur it until they fall. The wind may feel random, until you watch it playing in a field of grass.

Being able to perceive the patterns and rhythms allows us to enjoy natural beauty; the curve of a seashell, the seeds in a sunflower, the pattern of pine needles against the sky or the call of a cardinal or lark. They feel harmonious and have a rightness to them.

In the human side of life sometimes you find this sort of beauty, and sometimes it’s missing. We are capable of creating musical harmony and rhythm in which a single note out of place is obvious and slightly painful. We can also create urban landscapes without order or rhythm, that fracture our souls.

Humans are inherently rhythmic and patterned. Resonating with the world around us we appreciate it as beauty and know when something is missing or out of place. While perhaps clearer in nature we can do this also with people and groups.

We intuitively know when a person’s rhythms are broken by grief or anger and either give them space or perhaps offer a word or touch that helps the balance come whole again. We can pick up what has fallen on the floor, or find a space to join the flow of a dance or conversation.

This is done not from the head but from the heart, from feeling and seeing into things until you notice the patterns that are there, the rhythms and flows. Once you see/feel these you know what you have to offer that fits harmoniously, how to show up in a way that enhances the fabric of this piece of Life.

Perhaps its something large, and perhaps its just appreciation, adding attention to support the existing flow. Offering something that clashes with what is already present is unlikely to create a harmonious, or effective, result. The offering is not judged, but we take time to notice if it fits the place and rhythm.

If this is new for you, simply take a breath and center, let your heart feel into what is already present, and you will know the rightness and beauty of what you are considering. If it isn’t a good fit, let the question of “what does fit?” float through your being. Most importantly don’t try to figure it out. If there is a fit you will know it in your being, it will feel right, relaxed, easy.

Keep practicing when you remember to and soon you will find an easier rhythm flowing through your life as well.

(© 9/2014)

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Lion Tracks

Posted on August 18, 2014 by mcallister
lion heart

Walk on you say
on padded feet
each footfall a steady beat
the lion of my heart opening
in the courage of vulnerability
stalking the strength of Love

Take another breath
step through fear
to find the fierce joy
of my own Self set free
in the expansion of a heart
that swells to fill my being

In the darkness of the Void
the light of my Soul
leaves pulsating tracks
unhesitatingly pacing forward
to a place I have not been
but already know

Walk on you say
hold open a little longer
allow a little more
with each footfall, each beat
wholeness of Being blossoms
felt just beneath awareness

(© 8/16/2014)

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