Last week there was one beautiful warm day that was perfect for moving house. The next day it was snowing hard in the afternoon. I came out of the bank, wiped the snow off the car windows, and in minutes it was covered again. Backing out of my spot slowly, I turned to the front to see someone else backing out ahead of me; backing out into me. Very slowly, but inexorably, until there was a crunch on my side door and he stopped.
Changes and transformations; moving house, changing weather, accidents. Some are foreseen, others unexpected. Even foreseen changes can be upsetting, when old patterns and fears are unexpectedly triggered when the change actually occurs. Unexpected changes are usually enough to throw one off stride.
When triggered by change, I try to remember that I have tools; energetic, psychological tools. I can breath, ground, and run my energy; coming back to the basics of who I am as a Spiritual human. I find my space and center, cultivating presence and attention in the moment. If I had grounded before starting my car perhaps I would have been present enough to find the horn button, even though it wasn’t where I expected it to be. I was able to ground afterwards, get out, exchange information with the other driver in a calm manner, and drive home safely through driving snow.
Some uncertainties show up, others are present when we aren’t quite sure of the next steps in life, or even which direction it is headed in. All uncertainties tend to engage the mind and trigger old fears. The question is, what serves; what is there to be done right now? I may not know where the future is headed, but there are tasks I can do today in any case. As I breath into myself and find some spaciousness, it is easier to respond rather than react, there is space for next steps to come into focus. Using other simple tools I can clear and release triggered energies, rather than re-acting them out again.
The mind has so many ways to run off into the future. Knowing your dreams and planning for them is good, but the execution still has to be right now. Even asking for your next step may be a distraction from being present with your current step. I don’t know where each thread of life is going, but I will walk it forward, using my tools to be present and neutral, to have some curiosity and move through fear.
The car still works, in spite of another dent in the door. It matches one I put in the other side myself a few years ago. By next week it will have a new door.
Larger uncertainties that distract me, e.g. where my life is headed, I can notice and put aside, focusing on the tasks along that path present today; writing a news letter, printing and posting flyers for an upcoming workshop, reinstalling software on the new laptop. With small accidents, or when life is swirling, it is impossible to respond when I am not present first. Using tools to ground and center, our Self is alright, the mind can relax, we can listen clearly to the heart and do whatever serves best.
Breathe, connect with nature, ground into the Earth, do a brief mediation. When in doubt, especially when things are swirling, remember your tools first, become present, then respond.
(© 3/2015)
