I once spent a summer hanging out at a friend’s house where they had a nice pool. I used to like to sit under the water, where it was quite and still. Sometimes I would hold my breath waiting for the impulse to breath to rise up in me, feeling the body tensing and going into fear. Of course all I had to do was stand up, so this was body fear not mental fear, and I would try to relax into the experience, until I choose to stand up and breath.
Years later I read stories of spiritual teachers, who, in answer to student’s inquiries about enlightenment had led them to water and held them under. When the student was released and burst to the surface gasping for air wanting to know why this had been done, the answer was: when you have as great a desire for the divine as you have just had now for air, you will be close to your goal.
Is the drive to breathe a love of air or a fear of death?
You may say what’s the difference? and perhaps you are right. I suspect, however, that in the case of spiritual pursuits there is a big difference. Are we on a spiritual path because we have a passionate desire to know the divine aspects of ourselves or the universe, or because we are afraid of aspects of the human experience? We may think that we are choosing Love over Fear, but often we are simply seeking a release from Fear.
When we move towards Love not out of Love, but running from Fear this may be a good starting point, but it is probably not the ending point. Can we really merge into a state of unconditional love, when we are still afraid of our fear?
This is why we need to face our fears, to come to terms with them so that we are no longer afraid of them. This is not about being completely fearless, as that is physically impossible. As human beings we have fear built in, as we do hunger. But it is only when we are fearful of hunger, or fear, or anything else that it runs our existence. When we are familiar with fear, cultivate a relationship with it, come to know it almost as a friend, it is simply a state of our physical/emotional being that can serve us. When we no longer identify with it, and we can consciously choose the Light and Love for their own sake, drawing towards them through Love itself, rather than because we are running from Fear.
“Love is the Answer” is about Love as a goal, but more deeply about Love as a Way, as a process that carries us to that goal.
This is why its so important to do what you love, or love what you do. Not just because it will make you happy, or to be successful, but because then you are cultivating the state of Love, of connection, and this allows you to naturally move your attention from fear, to clear and cleanse the denser bodies and open space for our subtler aspects. It is how we learn who we deeply are and how we connect to our internal source of oxygen. Then happiness and success will naturally follow.
So no matter how simple, small, or “trivial” it is, find places in your life to explore and practice what you love, just because you love it, knowing that you are practicing Love itself and inviting it into your life on all levels, big as well as small. Becoming as little children, connect to the Love inside yourself. It is like having an internal air supply, there is no longer a need to be afraid of being under the water.
(© 3/2010)
