Engrossed in preparing dinner in the kitchen I feel her come up behind me and put her arms around me. My heart opens to her presence, coming to me through the memory of a lover who is no longer here. I feel into this embrace, full of love and joy, softly powerful she invites me to dance with her in the echoes of my mind. Embracing her, or being embraced, we dance across the space that is both here and then.
Even then it was the Goddess in the form of my beloved, who I played and danced with in joy and amusement. It all comes clear, that even though this beloved has moved on, the Goddess is still here dancing with me as she did then. I realize she is always there for me, and am deeply grateful to my beloved for having opened the windows that She moves through now. Gone is the sadness and grief at “losing” what came before, in an instant opening to gratitude, love, and joy, that have always been there.
Opening further I feel my own feminine coming alive in the dance. The Goddess shines through me and illumines my own manifestation of her energies. There is the girl, the young woman, the powerful mother, the wise woman, all the aspects alive in this dance. Inviting the divine masculine to come through my “other side” I am the boy, the young man, the father and the wise man. The kitchen is becoming full. Full of love and the dance of energies embracing, supporting, nurturing, protecting.
We are all, all of these if we open to let the God and Goddess shine through us. We are one perfect manifestation of their light, unique in beauty and in shadow. But this dance is large enough to embrace it all, to nurture and comfort the shadows, encouraging gentle expansion, the light dancing with the dark, the male and the female. Spilling out into the living room we whirl across the floor, in and out of each other, as my beloved and I once danced physically and energetically, ecstatically, playfully.
Am I making love, creating love, my beloved, a new love, the Goddess and God, or with myself? The energy is all the same, layered thinly and mixing space and time, in the openness of my heart, my being. I breath into myself and nestle into the intimate embrace of the dance, and the kitchen glows with a warmth that it has not known since she went away.
(© 11/2007)
