by Alan McAllister, CCHt PhD-phys
Earlier this week I was working with a friend to check in and clear some emotions running through my space. At one point I was invited to open up to my essential self which was floating over my head. Given permission I did so, just by setting the intention, and shortly could feel it dropping in. This was confirmed by my friend. It was actually quite simple and easy.
Last week I was going into some fear around an opportunity to step into a bit more leadership, and was inspired to just drop into myself and invite that part of me (aspects of essential self) that already knew the things I was worried about to come into my awareness. Somewhat to my surprise I could quickly feel a sense of depth and calm as my awareness shifted.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been practicing this, when I need to, or when I remember. Remembering is actually the tough part it seems. Remembering that our essential self is always there, and that opening to it, shifting our awareness a little we are there. There isn’t really anything to learn, to discover, to go to. Unless it is learning to relax into this place of openness inside so that our essential self has room to be felt and experienced.
Once you have experienced this a couple times and know that its there, its a matter of remembering and practicing. Building a new muscle.
When I was working with my friend this week, I had the sense of some resistance to connecting to myself. Asking what this was, I got the clear answer that I was scared. Now there are various fears that can come between our experience and our Self, corollaries to what happens if we are large and powerful and bright. How will the world react to us? But this week I felt something else. Part of my lower self was scared of this internal light shining into the dark spaces where I have hidden things I am scared of. The belief seemed to be, that if I turn on the light in these dark “storage rooms” I’ll see nasty things and so I’m afraid of being afraid, and resist connecting to my essential self as a result.
Makes sense. However, it was also quite clear that there was a piece missing. The belief ignores the very fact that this light is coming from my higher self. When this light of my soul enters, it doesn’t just expose the things in the dark corners, but also brings a great healing power to allow them to resolve, dissolve, and complete. I may feel some of the emotional content while this happens, but from a place of safety and strength, connected to my higher, essential self.
From my own experience , and working with clients this lesson has been clear. When we call in the light of our essential selves, allowing it to come to us (allowing as opposed to willing is important), then it will effortlessly heal and resolve those things that need to be healed and resolved. From the level of Self, there is infinite space, compassion, and grace to be with the lower self’s contractions, and allow them to expand and dissipate.
So I can lay to rest these fears that coming home to my Self will only result in more pain, because the very light that reveals my old pains also gives them space to safely be and heal. I am not alone with them anymore, but am fully resourced to allow them to complete.
So I invite you to practice opening to yourself. Recognizing these fears as they arise and knowing that you can safely lay them aside as they are misleading and false, being only a part of the whole. Knowing that the very aspects of Self you are connecting to will hold you and give you the strength and comfort you need to face and release the things that your light reveals to you.
As your Self drops in, you will no longer be at the same level as when you stored these old things, you will have the resources to unpack and resolve them with compassion and love.
Go forward in joy and faith in Yourself, welcoming yourself home without fear.
(© 7/2009)
