A beautiful fall day. Brilliant blue skies make all the colors pop, especially the dancing golden yellow leaves of the cottonwoods. The warmth and beauty around me resonate in my heart. Its easy to feel it filling with light, with love, opening to its natural state of being, to my essence.
As I open my Being and deepen into the joy of today, I remember that while the day makes it easier, even natural, what I am feeling is what I AM. My spiritual Self is Light and Love. It exists in this state of joy. I brought this in as an infant. Somewhere along the years I got distracted and started to look for it outside. From mother, father, family and friends. Later I looked to lovers and finally to nature and Spirit. Love and Light come from Spirit, through all these mediators. But Love/Spirit exists also inside me, always has.
I notice that part of me is uncertain about being in a state of Love, am I worthy to feel this? will I have to pay for it later? Variations on a theme, but all missing the point; Love is who and what I AM, not something I lack and have to search for. The day is wonderful, but it is only reminding me of what I already have, if I remember. Appreciating the outward beauty I refocus on the inner Source that sustains me and all of us, loving unconditionally.
It seems natural to want to share this day, this joy and love, with my beloved. I pause to examine this urge; realizing that my doubting ego feels I have to give it away, that I shouldn’t keep something so wonderful for myself. Being Love, and owning that Being, the question of giving it away becomes moot. If I am this, it will radiate to those I am around and I will share it with everyone I meet, especially my beloved.
This state of being is also a state of power. Being my Self, I am in my power – not power over, but the untouchable power of Being. The feeling that I have to give love away is another form of giving my power away. If I believe that I have to have an object for my love, that love is only available to me when it’s flowing through me, when I am “in love with someone”, I am also avoiding my power. Owning the inner source of Love, of Being, I can share this in a dance of creation with my beloved.
Love is my being, my power, my essence. I can invoke it any time any place, simply by turning my attention inward and remembering what is already there. At first this takes practice and the sunshine helps. There can be interference, the doubting voices of the ego-mind, weaving a web of armor out of fear. Love is still always true, always there. Over time there comes a knowing and Love is alive inside even on the dreariest day.
Owning my own inner Love, it will be shared, will pass on. Standing in my inner power I shine Light into the world. This inner Love melts the doubts and fears that tell me I need the beautiful day, a lover, permission to let Love unfold within me. I return to it over and over, find my footing and then come back to the world. Source is inside me, inside you.
(© 11/2016)
